Regular people think we’re weird. That is to say, the normal folk of the world, you know, the ones into vanilla, boring sex, think that alternative dating is strange. They think it’s edgy and dangerous. They don’t understand the appeal. They don’t get why people would enjoy some of the things that we do to each other and to ourselves. Why would someone want to be urinated on? Why would someone want to be whipped? These things seem humiliating and painful so they can’t possibly be pleasurable. The thing is that that is exactly why we enjoy them. Something in humiliation and pain draws us to it, turns us on, and gets us off. We have trouble explaining it to them and an even harder time doing so in a way that makes them get it.
Some people in the BDSM community feel this way too. Obviously, we don’t feel this way about ourselves, but some kinksters do tend to look down on those of us interested in edge-play. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, edge-play is a kind of activity that can be dangerous and is seen as even more extreme than what most alternative daters are into. Usually, edge-play is looked down upon because there are few if any safe ways to practice it. And, if there are safe ways to practice but it’s still looked at as edge-play, it may mean that most people who participate in it simply choose not to follow the safety rules or it could mean that the nature of the play itself is such that it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and forget to be safe.
One of the most controversial forms of edge-play is breath play. This is a kind of play that involves restricting oxygen in order to intensify pleasure or climax. This is something that can be done alone or with a partner, and it is very dangerous. Partnered breath play requires such a strong commitment and such a high level of trust that most people don’t even think it’s possible. There have been a number of cases of both singles and couples that have died from breath play. There are also a number of people who says breath play can cause long term damage that may be undetectable for years. The problem is, just because people think it’s dangerous or bad does not mean that anyone’s going to listen. People still drink even though drunk-driving accidents are a danger. People still smoke even if lung cancer is a very real possibility. So, if you’re going to do it anyway, keep some things in mind.
There are a lot of resources for breath play. There are reviews and articles on how it’s a scam and a dangerous one at that. There are blogs and sites dedicated to the safe practice of breath play. There are even kinky dating sites that would give breath play high ratings. All of these places can be a good source of information. The first thing you’ll want to know is how it’s done. Most breath play is done with some kind of rope and it involves some sort of hanging or pressure on the trachea. This is the kind of breath play that leads to the most deaths. When someone is into autoerotic asphyxiation, they are usually alone and no one even knows they’re into it, let alone doing it right then. Should unconsciousness occur, they could get seriously hurt. One way to avoid this is to play with a partner. This is not fool-proof, but it is a good way to ensure that someone is there to relieve the pressure should you pass out.
When you involve a partner, you get into the more exciting ways of restricting your oxygen. You can try something called Queening (or Kinging), which is when you smother someone’s face with your genitalia. This can both restrict breath as well be a good way to stimulate the other party involved. You can also use things like gas masks or hoods as a way to cut off the flow of air. If you want to combine these two tricks, there are gas masks that have dildos attached to their mouth pieces. The dildo has holes in it that allow the flow of air to move into them, through the hollow tube, and up into the mask. When the dildo is inserted, it has the same effect as Queening does with the added fun of the mask. Not all masks actually have this hollow tube, however, so be careful which ones you decide are worth your cash. (You can certainly check out kinky dating sites ratings or reviews for scam products you don’t want to waste money on.)
Once you’ve found the method that sounds like the most fun, be sure you prepare yourself. You want to create the safest space for the best experience that you can so you will need to be prepared if the unthinkable happens. If your partner passes out, you will wish you had taken those CPR classes a little more seriously. If you’ve never learned how to perform CPR, you should learn now. If your partner passes out, you will need to be able to keep air flowing until help can arrive. You should do your best to avoid your partner passing out, but there is, unfortunately, no way to guarantee that that won’t happen. Keep an eye on the depth of their breath and the look in their eyes. If they seem unresponsive or if their eyes begin to flutter, let up or stop entirely. You should know the signs of someone about to lose consciousness.
A good way to reduce the chance of this; is to learn about what you’re doing, you should study anatomy and get a better sense of how oxygen is being restricted and what is happening to the body when it does. On top of that, you should learn to have control over the holds you are applying and the amount of strength involved. A good way to learn this control is to take a martial arts class. While this may seem silly, they actually teach you quite a lot about pressure points and the proper way to put someone into a chokehold without causing more damage than you intend to.
As with any BDSM play, safety is the most important part of it. You want to be sure that you learn as much as you can before you play and be sure to keep educating yourself as more information comes out. If you’re going to participate in breath play, do it right. If you hop on a kinky dating site for breath play, the ones with high ratings will give you a long list of tips on how to stay safe above all else. Make sure you take pointers from the legit dating sites only. Find The Best Kinky Dating Sites: Our Comprehensive Reviews. The reviews about these dating sites can guide you to be safe in any kinky play.
There’s nothing wrong with edge-play if you do it right. Can it be dangerous? Yes. Can it be scary both to outsiders and players? Yes. But we all know that sometimes the scariest things are the most fun. Sometimes the most off the wall things get us off the best. Don’t be afraid of your desires, embrace them. Just be sure you’re not hurting anyone while you do it.